Chapter Three

Crazy! The kind of madness with the potential to have me locked in a padded room, drugged and on suicide watch. Fairies! Fucking fairies! Not the mafia, not drug dealers or pimps, the journal speaks of nothing but the Fey. What it hadn’t revealed so far, was how to identify one. What’s the blood point of her warning me against them when she had yet to state that? Why couldn’t she have told me on the front page? Something like Hey Jose all you have to do is: ‘say hocus pocus’ or ‘tap your nose three times’ any bloody thing that would actually help me, instead of this detailed version of the kamasutra.

After what felt like hours I decided that I wasn't going to get any answers from this journal. Answers! Listen to yourself Jose, your starting to believe this shit! What can I say, Connie has a good imagination but not even hers is that good. Some of the things she describes is... just too out there to be anything BUT real. Like here:

I thought that I lived a little on the wild side Jose, but no! Drako has opened my eyes and now... now everything is different. What I have seen, can never be taken back, can never be unseen, never be forgotten. The things that he has done to me – which they have done with me, is burned into every fibre of who I am now. I'm not saying it wasn't good because it was so fucking good. But I can tell you this, magic during sex, especially with more than one man Fey is sensational, the orgasm is actually visible. All the colours of the rainbow and some that have no name explode within you until you might die from the pleasure and then as your body comes back to you all you see is the colours. Bright, sparkling colours of happiness.

Oh and here:

You have never seen anything as beautiful. No two Fey are the same or at least as far as I have seen, which isn’t very much actually. But today I met this one... I think his name was....  Bards or Barbaro or was it Bars, I seem to have forgotten. But I remember his eyes... Stormy, yes definitely stormy, blues, greys, whites and blacks all swirling and colliding. I tell you, it's really distracting to watch someone’s eyes constantly changing. I think it's why I can't remember his name or what they were talking about. I do have this feeling that it wasn't a friendly conversation though.

It wasn't until Drako ordered me away from them, that I noticed the effect he had on me. A fear so profound settled deep in my bones, but I don't know if it was because I didn’t want to be away from him or if he was causing it. They have that ability – some of them anyway – to make you feel the way they want you too. But why would he want me to fear? Or was it a warning?

I missed most of the conversation they were having because of that feeling, but what I heard of it made no sense. 

Drako – You know the deal

B – Yes

Drako – You wish to start a war B, over a piece of ass?

B – Our lives may be different but do not think that you can escape the darkness.

Drako – Darkness my un-hairy ass, do you think it scares me? I have the one, I have not lied, and I’ve broken no oath. You’re just pissed because we have her and you don't, now go and play with you dick B--- or are you not even given that privilege?

B stormed off, literally though, I heard thunder crack inside the building also .... there were flashes of light (lightening) and then he was gone. Drako came to me with a satisfied gleam in his eyes, and I knew we were going to fuck. He never asks anymore, just takes. At the start it was fun, unexpected and exciting even. I thought he loved me, that he couldn’t get enough of me but I was wrong. So wrong. His touch has turned malevolent, there is nothing loving about what we do. And at times it's so violent and painful that I fear for my safety. Here’s the worst part... in the throes of passion, I know I want more of it though, I want him to hurt me, actually, I should say I want them to hurt me. And that's the scariest thing.

Now what the hell am I meant to do with that kind of information? All it's done is make me want to have sex and then kick their asses for hurting her. I just couldn’t read anymore, so placing the book on the coffee table, I went to get something to eat. Where did the time go? That last time I looked, it was one and now it is almost six. I had missed the whole day. Connie hadn’t shown up or called. Something has happened to her, I know it has. But what could I do about it, who could I go to? Where did I start looking for her? Only one name came to mind, Ethan!

Did I dare call him? What would he say about today? There was no way he missed my fantastic orgasm, would he call me on it? Did he have something to do with it? And how did he vanish so quickly?  The vanishing might be quite simple, I wasn't really thinking at the time and he may have strolled out, while I was distracted. Time seemed to be getting away from me today. The big question is, will he help me, and not ask questions? I have a feeling he’d say yes to the first and as for the second, well, he wasn't an agent for nothing. He would most definitely ask questions, I just need to have plausible answers for him. Ones that won’t get me locked up for insanity. And how did I do that when I can't lie... Seriously! It's not that I don't lie, it's that I can't, anytime I have needed to, the words get stuck in my throat, they never get voiced. It's gotten me into all kinds of trouble in the past, so now I don't fight it, I just don't lie. No! Ethan can't help me, he would think me crazy and maybe he’d be right.

As I ate my scrambled eggs, while running over and over what I had read in the journal, trying to read between the lines and find clues as to where she might be or how to find these creatures. I was slowly coming to the conclusion that I had nothing to go on.  No clues that would help me in anyway, there was only one way to find her and that was to ask Ethan for help. In the last six months he had closed enough missing person’s cases and also found people that didn’t want to be found. I let out a huge sigh, releasing the tension in my shoulders and picked my phone. No point in delaying the inevitable, I needed help if I was going to find Connie and I got the feeling that I was running out of time.

“Ethan, can you come over tonight, I really need you,”

Damn fucking voicemails. Clicking the phone shut, I felt tired, so tiered that I wasn't sure I would even make it to my bed. The air around me seemed to thicken as I tried to breath, the weight of it pushing in on me, forcing me to stumble to the chair, hitting my knee in the process. The edges of my vision started fading until there was nothing, I wasn't sleeping but I wasn't awake either. Just trapped in darkness.

My head hurt, it throbbed in time with my pulse, which was currently racing. I was fully conscious but not awake. This must be how you feel in a coma and I hope this is as near as I ever get to finding out.  I couldn’t see anything, even holding my hand in front of my face, my palm hit my nose and I still couldn’t see it. The theme tune to Jaws went skittering through my mind and I burst out laughing, the sounds seemed to bounce off walls and echo around me. It made me laugh harder. Hysterically harder.

“I am Darkness, what is it you find so amusing child?”

I didn’t find this in the least bit amusing but couldn’t stop myself from laughing and the harder I tried the worse it became. My sides started aching and I had to fight for breath.

“Why have you come to me?”

It was then I felt it, touching every part of me, consuming me. This darkness was a living thing and it was caressing every inch of me. Not in a sexual way but still an intimate way that set me on edge and stopped me laughing.

“I didn’t come to you. I don't even know who.... or what you are.”

“I am creation. I am the beginning and the end of all things. I keep order. Now tell me why have you come to me?”

Well damn and DAMN. What in god’s name did you say to that? Crazy, you really have lost you fucking mind. Oh well might as well go with the flow of this madness and see where it leads.

“I need to find my friend, she may be in trouble and I have to help her.”

“The one you seek as a friend is closer to you than you know. Seek out the truth Josephine, and you will find whom you are searching for. But know this, not all Fey are honour bound, if they lie they answer to me but there are many ways to avoid telling the truth without telling a lie. Be careful what you say and how you say it.”

“What? But you just said you were everything, can't you just tell me the truth and save me the hassle and time. What if I don't get to her on time, what if she is lying in a ditch right now dying?” I couldn’t help shouting, I was angry. Angry at something I couldn’t see only feel and hear. “I don't believe in fairies and even if I did, I wouldn’t know one unless it flew in and smacked me upside the head.”

“You have much to learn my child and I fear you have not much time in which to learn it. But this I will tell you.  Never say you don't believe, that is something that can kill you, had you not been here, that is. The rest is up to you.”

“Can’t you tell me anything? You are talking in circles and right now I need straight answers not riddles and prophecies.”

“Not everything you need to know can be told. Some thing’s must be witnessed or felt to be understood and just because I can tell you, doesn’t mean I should. It could alter reality or change your destiny. Trust your heart; it will lead you down your path.”

A loud banging startled me and just like that I was back in my living room, suspended in mid air but heading fast towards the chair I had been aiming to sit in, before being plunged into darkness.

On seriously wobbling legs I made it to the front door, the clock on the wall said it was eleven pm, but that couldn’t be right, it had just been after seven when I called Ethan. Nothing made sense right now. I remember talking to someone but it was fading fast and... had it really happened or had I fallen asleep after closing my phone? I didn’t have time to try and decipher my own head right now, I had to find Connie and hopefully this was Ethan at the door and he would help me.

 “Josephine, sweet little Josephine. I see you are alone! This must be my lucky day.”

“Drako!” I would recognise him anywhere form Connie’s very descriptive detailing of him. But why was he here and how did he know my name. Connie!

“I'm impressed. Now aren’t you going to invite me in? I have a message for you. One I think would be best not given on your doorstep.”

“Do not invite him in Josephine,” Ethan’s said from behind me.

What was I supposed to do now? I needed Ethan to help me find Connie and standing in front of me was the person whom she’d journald as her lover. I got the very real impression I was on a knife edge, sharp and deadly and ready to slice me in two if I moved the wrong way. But which was the wrong move? I knew precisely nothing about either of these two guys except that one of them meant me harm. But who did I bet my life on? And I was betting my life here, something big was happening, I could feel it. But did I go with Ethan, who I have trusted for six months or Drako who may or may not have Connie.  

“Joe, I know you don't understand what’s going on here, but please, you must trust me,” Ethan said.

“Trust, ha! How can you ask her to trust you, when you have not been honest with her Barbaros. You may have shown yourself to her but does she know who you are? Have you told her anything. No! You have not. Josephine, Listen to me, you are our Princess and he is here under false pretence, ask yourself why that is. Now invite me in before he does something stupid,” Drako said.

The way Drako said Barbaros made me remember the conversation Connie had detailed. Was he who she was referring to? He had the eye colour, even if I hadn’t seen it do what she described, was it him? If so, he knew Connie and he had left her with Drako or was Drako protecting her, and if he was, where was she? 

“We cannot lie Joe. You are smart, word your questions carefully and you will know who to trust.”

“We? You said we cannot lie. Are... are you a Fairy Ethan?” I asked, even though I had a gut twisting feeling that he was. And if he was did that mean I should or should not trust him.

“Yes. But you’re not asking the right questions Josephine.”

“Oh and I suppose you going to tell what questions I should be asking, are you?”

“No. I cannot. You have a choice here, neither of us can sway you or help you. You must give yourself willingly to the Seelie or the Unseelie and although you don't understand any of this, it doesn’t change the fact that you must choose and choose now,” Ethan said.

“Josephine, Connie misses you,” Drako said.

“Drako!” Ethan shouted.

“What I'm just explaining that Connie would like t see her. I'm not doing anything wrong.”

“Enough. Joe you must choose,” Ethan said.